Holding hands or letting free?
Recently, I found myself engrossed in a Netflix web series that featured a compelling conversation between a father, who was a retired judge, and his son, a senior lawyer. The son accused his father of not assisting him in his professional journey (using his power and network), while his colleagues’ parents were paving the way for their children’s success.
The father’s response was profound:
“Those who don’t teach their children to walk by holding their hands, their children may not learn to walk easily.
But those who never let go of their child’s hand, their children will never learn to run!’
This striking parenting advice led me to reflect upon the nature of mentorship in our professional lives.
Throughout my career, I’ve had the privilege to learn from some extraordinary mentors. However, the most impactful ones didn’t simply hold my hand through trials. Instead, they offered guidance, shared their experiences, and provided feedback, but always stopped short of doing the work for me.
Initially, I struggled to appreciate this approach as a mentee. I believed mentees, like me, expected more direct involvement from their mentors. However, when I began my own mentoring journey years later, I gained a new perspective. I sought knowledge from various leaders and articles on mentorship and uncovered a common theme.
The key to effective mentorship is not to spoon-feed your mentees. Instead, we should nurture their growth through constructive feedback and guidance, allowing them to carve their own path based on their experiences. As mentors, our role is often to stand as pillars of support, illuminating the path but allowing the mentees to steer their own course.
Anuj Magazine, another exceptional leader, once shared a sketch note that has stuck with me. He highlighted five relationships necessary for a successful career: the mentor, the sponsor, the partner, the competitor, and the mentee. When describing the mentor, he used a powerful analogy: “Think of a mentor as the north star that will keep you on track when you’re feeling lost at work.” This analogy beautifully encapsulates the essence of mentorship.
Reflecting on these experiences, what valuable lesson have you learned from a mentor?
Or if you are a mentor, what is your guiding principle when it comes to support your mentees?
Leave your response in the comments section.
